hello hello my sweet little friends. Today’s post is going to be a little different than what I normally post about. Most of you probably don’t know that *surprise!* I’m adopted! There’s so so many questions that normally go through people’s minds when they hear that so I wanted to share my story with you all.
If you don’t know, I’m 23. So 23 years ago I don’t think adoption was as common as it is now. So growing up, I didn’t know anyone else that was adopted so I’m hoping I can find someone in the same shoes as I am now. So let’s dive right into it.
I will preface by saying that this is all my experience. Some people have other experiences and I understand that. I don’t want to make them feel invalid but this is my story.
I’ve never wanted pity or for someone to feel “bad” that I was adopted. I will be the first to admit that I have lived the most amazing life and I’m so so grateful for my parents and brothers. I was so extremely lucky and I can’t even believe how blessed I am. I feel like the first thing people do when they hear I’m adopted is feel bad for me or get uncomfortable and apologize for it. And I 100% don’t want that. Because like I just said, I will be the first to admit that I have the most amazing life ever. And I can’t imagine my life without my family I have in it.
My parents had 2 boys and wanted a girl. They decided to try again and taa-daa! My older brother, Charlie was born. My parents considered adopting overseas but my dad is a doctor and wasn’t able to take off the amount of time off that’s required. Fast forward a few months later and my mom is in California for work and is having drinks with some coworkers. She casually mentioned that her and my father wanted to adopt a girl.
this is when shit gets real.
My grandma mentioned that her daughter is due to have a baby girl in 2 months. Right then and there, I became part of the Hill family. And from November 1995 I was a Hill. 2 months later I was born and being welcomed into my new life.
But let’s backtrack a little bit. It’s January 20th and my birth mother goes into labor. I was born in California and my family lives in Illinois so my mom had to get on a flight to the west coast. My mom was trying to get on a last minute flight and she ran to the gate as the doors were closing. The gate attendant explained to my mom that she couldn’t get on. She explained that her daughter was being born but he still didn’t let her on. Wanna know what my badass mom did? She got in that mans face and asked for a woman. Keep in mind my mom is 5 foot 1 on a good day and is tiny. He got another worker (who was a woman) and sure enough, Polly Hill got onto that flight to pick up her baby girl.
So from day 1 I knew I was adopted. I remember sitting in Kindergarden and everyone going around the room saying why they were special. Kids would say how great they were at sports, or that they could do art really well. What did I say? I’m adopted. And I truly thought that made me special. And I can’t thank my parents enough for making me proud of it from day 1.
did you ever feel different?
I’ll be honest, I grew up in central Illinois surrounded by cornfields and pretty sure the only person of color until I was in 6th grade. So of course I did especially when kids are pointing it out on the playground. It wasn’t easy where I grew up. I ended up going to therapy since I struggled with my identity and had a really hard time in high school once I truly felt alone. It wasn’t easy. But I truly think it’s made me who I am today and I’m glad someone as strong as me went through it. But I think it’s totally normal to feel like you don’t know who you are and how you should identify yourself. I think it’s important to talk about it and acknowledge it. Because I didn’t and wish I had sooner.
Have you met your birth mother?
No. I’ve written a letter to her once in my life but we’ve never actually met. It’s weird because she actually popped up on my Facebook a few years ago and it was really emotional and crazy to see. But as far as a face to face interaction, we’ve never had one.
Do you want to meet her?
I’ve always said no to this. I can’t thank her enough and my parents have made it clear that we have so much love and gratitude for her but I’m so content with the life that I have that I don’t feel like I need closure like others do. Not to say that it is out of the question but I don’t think it’s necessary. I can’t imagine the amount of emotion I’d have if it would ever happen.
So what are you mixed with?
This question literally almost comes every day. Which is weird. People think it’s ok to ask where I “come from” (California, hi.) and constantly tell me I look “exotic”. Some people can be really sensitive to this so we need to be careful how we word this. Luckily, I laugh and explain. I actually took a 23 & me test that I want to share the results with you all because it’s actually really cool. Coming soon.
What’s is like looking back on your life?
I have the most blessed life. My parents and brothers are the most amazing people I’ve met. I thank my mother for giving me this life and I can’t imagine being in her position. I will always have so much respect for her. I’m just overwhelmed with joy and love.
What’s is like being an aunt to adopted children?
It’s the most amazing feeling ever. And if you didn’t know, my brother and his husband have adopted two beautiful babies. And I’ve never been so proud. I am so happy that they have someone they can talk to and when my first niece was born I couldn’t believe how much I loved her. Not that I am a parent but I totally understand that it doesn’t matter where your child comes from, the love is so overwhelming and you know right when you see them for the first time that they are yours. I hope one day my niece and nephew look up to me and feel connected to me because of our similar situations.
so I hope that answers all of your questions. I feel like these are the ones that always get fired at me after informing someone about my adoption. I think it’s the most amazing thing that a women can be so selfless to give up her own baby in order to give it a better life.
mom & dad, I love you more than you will ever know and I can’t imagine not being your daughter.
to my brothers, thank you for the best childhood I could have ever asked for. And for letting me be the annoying little sister and always hanging around you and your friends.
and most importantly to my birth mother, I cannot thank you for giving me the most beautiful life I could have ever imagined.